#don’t think I didn’t notice I got breadcrumbs this month from SSI. not enough money leftover after donating to genocide huh government.

[samuraisharkie]

I’m fucking gutted by the fact that my parents are such shills for Israel that I have to look up shit proving Israel is making stuff up even though I��ve fucking SHOWN them what Palestinians are saying, I’ve given them the proof, and they have the gall to ask me “why weren’t you this broken up about Israel’s dead children? Why didn’t you cry everyday about Ukraine?” and say shit like “promise me you won’t put yourself out there and in danger by people taking advantage of your compassion. promise me you won’t put this family in danger. I’m worried about you. You should stop looking at it for a while. Tell me you don’t hate Israel.” I can’t believe that every proof I show they immediately get mad and defensive and “concerned” that they’re seeing more proof against Israel. If I ever show them Tantura, they’re not going to get three minutes in. They’re so obsessed with the Bible that they refuse to see the evil their supposedly “holy country” is doing!! They’re calling the Christians against Israel “bad Christian’s”. I got them to admit we need a ceasefire and that Israel doesn’t need help the other day, and in between that time they inundated themselves with more bullshit. The progress I make with them is always destroyed the moment I stop talking. I wish I could find a way to get them away from shit like Fox News without them throwing a fit, because I KNOW that’s where most of it’s coming from. I was crying about the civilians being killed in South Lebanon, three more children and one more adult destroyed because of pure hatred, and they can’t see it. It’s terrifying. The death has never been worse, and they want to police how I talk about it. They monitor my money, so I have to donate discreetly or to places like Doctors without Borders, or else they’ll completely fucking embarrass me like they did when I donated to BLM and Change.org (Change.org had some sort of issue where it kept taking money from me monthly even though I didn’t agree to anything but a one time payment so they decided I was scammed by BLM) by taking me and my twin OUT IN PUBLIC to have a confrontation and “intervention” to us about it!!! The most satisfaction I can get is that, when I confronted them that I feel like I have to work twice as hard to be heard because I’m looked down on, my mom admitted she dreads political discussions with me because she knows I’ve done my homework. (Undercurrent of that is also concerning, that she dreads it because she won’t get an echo chamber and it might be uncomfortable bc she won’t be able to dominate the discussion). I’m just. I’m so infuriated that my activism is neutered to whatever I can get away with online, and even then I can’t show it outwardly because then they come at me with “this isn’t good for you, you need to step away”. I’m gonna have to learn how to archive shit I guess, as much as I suck at navigating that shit and having a functioning computer/phone. I know they’re gonna come at me for “spending too much time online” and “hyperfixating on bad things” for it bc it’s gonna take a chunk of learning and doing, but like. what else can I fucking do.